In a 2007 New York Times article, Chuck Klosterman wrote one of the simplest, most dead-on (and one of my favorite) descriptions of professional sports locker rooms.

“It’s an uncomfortable situation; people are tired, people are naked and people are tall,” Klosterman explained.

The last part may be appropriate only in NBA locker rooms (Klosterman was, in fact, writing on Glibert Arenas) or those of NHL teams that employ 6’9” Slovak defensemen, but the sentiment is the same in locker rooms everywhere.

Am I the only one who actually finds her kind of...creepy?

While most people see sports reporting as a pretty sweet gig – and, OK, it is – it’s still a job. It still has its good, bad and downright awkward moments, the most awkward of which involves a smelly locker room, a crowd of cameras, microphones and notebooks, and a group of professional athletes in various states of undress with attitudes ranging (often depending on the outcome of the game they just played) from happy and friendly to pissed off and bitter. And that doesn’t even get in to their underlying personalities – everything from the team leader type, to the chill, personable guy who will strike up a casual conversation after the real interview’s over, to the brooding one in the corner trying to avoid your incessant line of questioning and just get out of there.

One of the tokens of wisdom my boss bestowed to me, on the first day of my college internship with a professional sports team, was “Get in, ask your questions and get out. Keep your eyes up, and don’t just stand around.” Soon added to the list was “Don’t step on the team logo in the center of the room” and “Go do the interview! Quick, before he takes his pants off!”

Ah, yes, the ways we make this odd relationship work. And maybe I was just lucky, or maybe the players I worked with (I hope, like most) had class and respect, but I never had an incident, so to speak.

That’s why this whole Ines Sainz spectacle really bugs me. Other female journalists reported the incident, other players are sounding out about it, and the peanut gallery keeps saying Sainz “deserved it” because she was dressed (pardon me) like a whore. That’s about as logical as saying someone “deserves” to be a victim of rape.

Clinton Portis’s inane comment about “put[ting] a woman [in a locker room] and giv[ing] her a choice of 53 athletes” is, thank you very much, the stupidest effing thing I’ve ever heard. Players and reporters alike are professionals. It doesn’t matter if you think someone’s attractive – go gush to your friends about it after – because you are doing your job when you are in the locker room.

Did I think certain players were cute? Never! (*cough*Yes!*cough*) But I never used that position in the locker room to voice that opinion because if such a situation were the other way around – if Sainz, or any female reporter any reporter, period, made a sexist remark – the offending party would have been thrown out of that locker room sofast. Why shouldn’t such a player face such punishment?

The funny thing is, despite all of this, I can’t quite figure out what side I’m on.

As an (aspiring) sports journalist, and with a sports internship that I miss (a lot) under my belt, I feel for Sainz and every other female reporter in that male-dominated world. But that makes me sound antiquated because it’s the sort of crap people spew when they want to complain about inequality.

The truth is, there are plenty of excellent female reporters out there, many of whom are well-respected by players and fellow reporters, haven’t been the center of media attention (good and bad), and have the job they do because they’re good at what they do, not partially because they’re “hot.” They understand the rules, dress appropriately, and “get in and get out.”

So maybe Sainz, who isn’t usually a guest in the Jets locker room, didn’t quite get it. But being a TV personality herself, she probably “got” what she was doing when she went on a zillion talk shows to talk about the incident. Maybe TV Azteca reporters usually wear outfits many of us would deem inappropriate for work. But, again, that doesn’t give anyone the right to make comments, unless it’s someone helpfully suggesting she change.

Sally Jenkins, a Washington Post sports columnist, more or less sums up how I feel. This is 2010 – why is this even a problem?

Wow, that was a really cheesy headline. Sorry. But seriously, Music is Art’s name doesn’t even begin to cover everything the festival has.

Yesterday’s acts ranged from interpretive dance to escape artists and everything in between — children’s performances, hair (temporary) coloring, orchestral music…seriously, everything. Buffalo’s performing arts community has some incredibly talented people, and this festival is easily the city’s best chance to see it all in one place.

The only problem with that? There is so much to see that you can’t possibly see it all — easily the most disappointing realization of the day. I didn’t spend any time at the country/bluegrass/americana/hip-hop stage out front or nearly as much time as I should have checking out all the art vendors. And I was running back and forth between the main stages so much that I completely missed out on the party that developed over at the DJ stage. I did, however, become a pro at climbing around the Albright-Knox steps.

A quick rundown of my personal highlights:

• Finally getting to see Nelson Starr and the Benjamins, The Innocent Bystanders and Free Henry! Also, discovering Iceberg, who, as I mentioned on Twitter, remind me of Barenaked Ladies for some reason.
• Being completely surprised by a band I believe is named Junction 5. They’re young (or, at the very least, they look young), but man, can they play their instruments well.
• Magician Greg Frewin and escape artist Jonathan Bryce — or, more accurately, the crowd’s reactions, which ranged from “How’d they do that?!” to “Ew, why would anyone hang upside down in a straightjacket??”. Watching their tricks was entertaining, but it was more entertaining hearing everyone’s commentary, kids and adults alike.
• Seeing some great women musicians. I, sadly, missed Dallas Pace (there was a little incident with a very bad sunburn), but I enjoyed Erin Sydney Welsh and Grace Stumberg immensely. I caught a short set of ’90s covers by Stumberg at Tudor Lounge back in April and was really excited to hear her own material. She most definitely did not disappoint.
• Totally un-music-related, but Oh. My. Gaaaaaaaahd, the tacos from Lloyd Taco Truck are just epic. So epic that I also had a burrito for dinner later on.

Favorite quotes of the day:

• Robby Takac on The Lake Effect: “Five men with microphones and no instruments!…I’d rather have surgery myself.”
• Lorraine O’Donnell on Music is Art: “We’re so lucky, and I have to say personally, as a member of the cultural community…if it wasn’t for Robby Takac and all the people that work with him, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
• Robby Takac on the Mark Freeland exhibit: “Mark was always so excited about this. To me, it feels like, to not have him here would be too weird, so we involve him every single year and make sure he’s represented, because I would have asked him to be here, and he would have said yes.”

If you want more, photos and audio are below (sadly, no video — they were corrupted when I transfered them to my computer. Serious sad face about that one), and — I can’t say this enough — if you didn’t make it this year, mark your calendars for next year and make plans as soon as the date’s announced.

http://dstefano.fatcow.com/astefano/MiA2010/publish_to_web/soundslider.swf?size=2&format=xml

The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra Brass Quintet: The Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra Brass Quintet

Erin Sydney Welsh: Erin Sydney Welsh

Iceberg: Iceberg

The Lake Effect: TheLakeEffect

Nelson Starr and the Benjamins: Nelson Starr and the Benjamins

Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s a wrap.

The Music is Art Festival, mid-day

Today’s festival was all kinds of wonderful — the weather was perfect, the venue was great and the acts were varied. Music and art were just the beginning of the zillions of things to do and see at the Albright-Knox today. And if you missed out — well, that sucks.

Now I’m sure some are still out dancing and drinking the night away at the after parties (Sportsmen’s Tavern and Club W, if you’re interested), but I, quite frankly, am exhausted, sunburned and can’t look at a computer much longer. There’s tons of photo, video and audio to share with you — but it will just have to wait until tomorrow. However, here are a few images to get you started:

The theme was Magic Mayhem 2010.

There was, of course, music…

…art…

…and dance, too.

The Important Details:

• Music is Art 2010 kicks off at 10am today at the Albright-Knox Art Gallery. It runs until 10pm tonight.
• If you want to see the line-ups, here they are for the three main stages, as well as the DJ stage, projection tent, kid’s village and inside exhibits.
• If you want to learn more about the Music is Art organization before you go, check out their website.
• The Goo Goo Dolls Street Team (come on, we can’t forget that connection!) will be at the festival collecting canned goods for local food banks, so if you’re coming down, don’t forget to bring something along!

I’ve checked out the schedules for today, and I’ve got to say, you’re crazy if you don’t at least stop by. A Mark Freeland exhibit? A DJ tent? Come on, even the Lloyd Taco Truck will be there (I might be most excited to finally try these tacos)!

If you’re curious about up-to-the-minute details on the festival, check out my Twitter feed below. I’ll have updates there all day — and plenty more when it’s all said and done tonight.
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And if you want to see what others are saying, here’s a Music is Art-specific Twitter feed (which I really hope I set up correctly enough to get all the content!):
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The Music is Art Festival is not what it was in 2003 — a few bands playing on one tiny stage in the old Chameleon West parking lot to a crowd made up of a few who were there just for the music and most who wandered over from the neighboring Allentown Art Festival. My parents humored me and sat on one of those cement things at the top of a parking spot while I watched a short set by Klear, a band that is no longer together but still near and dear to my heart.

After seven years, a few venue changes (do we really need to rehash that art v. music battle that left the festival stranded at the Erie County Fair?) and a date change, the Music is Art Festival is so much more. Art, dance, music and children’s activities combine in a way no one probably imagined they would back in 2003 in that parking lot.

It’s been a few years since I’ve been able to attend — four, actually; that college thing sort of got in the way — so I am wicked excited that this year I’m not only going to the festival, I’m covering it for the website. I’m excited to see how the festival events play out across the grounds of the Albright-Knox. I’m excited to remember how great the local entertainment scene in Buffalo is — because, you’ve got to hand it to us, we’ve got some pretty kick-ass, creative people around here.

The bands I saw there in the early years may or may not still be around — I particularly remember getting a photo with the lead singer of Seven Day Faith one year, having a cool conversation with the guys in Ghostrunner another, and an acid trip of a set by Anal Pudding yet another time — but a whole new crop of musicians, artists and dancers await.

So, you tell me — whose set should I check out? Who should I try and talk to? What do you want me to report back about? I’ll try and cover as much as I can through Twitter, photos, video and some posts back here after it’s all said and done (sung and danced? Bad pun).

And by the way — it’s good to be back! Life’s been busy this summer, and full of plenty of changes. But I’ve missed this site. I promise not to go missing again.